PressGaney Kiss My Ass! This Isn't the Hilton or Burger King! You Can't Have It Your Way!

The ED isn't Burger King!  You can't have it your way!  This is medicine not fast food.  You can't drive through and special order your care.  And you certainly cannot do it when you are refusing exams or testing!   So I'm sorry management if you get an unhappy customer because they refused an exam by a provider for drip from below.  I'm not sorry that we do not just give meds to people without evidence of illness....  oh wait... you changed your mind and you are now telling me to just give the patient the meds... without an exam, without the urine specimen that you told them they needed.  

Oh wait patient you're pissed off at me and calling me derogatory names and referring to our hospital as the ghetto hospital because you are upset that you didn't have faster service in the ED..  you've been here an hour.  You had a nebulizers and spent most of the time arguing about how the college educated staff doesn't care about you.  Love how you wasted your nebulizer telling me that I'm a racists because I am not the same shade of you and how I didn't provided you with anything..  I just spent 15 minutes listening to you complain and tell me how you are smart and know what you need, yet you can't tell me what you need.  Thank you for wasting my time and the time of my other patients who actually need help.

PressGaney and happy endings have two things in common--- you get jerked around a lot and in the end are you really satisfied or is it just pity service? 

Patients Please Leave Your Crazy Friends, Friends With Benefits at Home

There is nothing worse than a crazy "friend" at the bedside.  This crazy "friend" is the type of friend who doesn't want to be present for an invasive procedure-- an IV or a foley insertion, but will get in everyones' face, and I do me everyone!  They will stop you from talking to your own patient, they will stop you mid sentence with a colleague, you might not have anything to do with their "friend's" care, but they will attempt to hold you accountable as if you have the power to know every patient and every patients' health issues and the plan for care.  And if you god forbid say, "let me find the nurse caring for XXX", it turns out that that is the kiss of death.  See the friend isn't really interested in shutting the fuck up in order of the staff to try to help, he or she is there pacing the hall, obstructing the hall, hanging over other patients for attention.  They rant and rave.  They complain and refuse to leave the area, but they were never actually in the area holding the hand of the "friend".  It is truly an amazing phenomena while you are actively attempting to help the patients you can't because the "friend" just wants to argue, and for what?

What's So Hard About Doing Your Job?

I've worked in a couple of ERs over the years and I am often left wondering why people find it so hard to just do their job.  I don't mean all people, but some people.  What makes it even more frustrating is when the job is to just stay awake and keep an eye on a psych patient.  Seriously why  is it so difficult?

What is even worse is when you wake up the sleeping employee or ask them to remove their earbuds so they can hear what you have already said to them, and they get pissed.

Seriously.  I run around for 12 hours and I'm lucky if I have the time to pee...  but somebody is actually getting paid to sit and their responsibility is to really just stay awake and get the nurse is the patient needs something.

My rant is over!!!

They Came By Air

"Trauma alert by air 10 minutes.  Trauma alert by air 10 minutes".  For those of us wearing protective lead, covered head to toe in surgical attire, medical ninja garb, we are prepared to receive whatever comes our way.  We anticipate the badness that has been air lifted to our helicopter pad 24/7.  We first greet you, but you cannot see our face, just our eyes.  You are disoriented from a flight up-up and away from your disaster site, and you are carefully lowered to a small roof top that overseas a metropolis with college parties, gang violence, corporate gatherings and trials and tribulations of everyday life.  

You are here now.  I greet you with a welcome to ____ Medical Center, I'm your nurse.  You're safe now.  We are going to take great care of you.  I do my best to absorb a readers digest version of report with just the highlights from the flight crew, knowing they will repeat it when we cross the red line in the trauma bay.  I explain to my patient that we are going to move fast but we are thorough.  I explain that we will be cutting their clothing off and giving their belongings to security.  I try to prepare them because they are no longer in control.  Their control ended on impact with whatever bad thing landed them on our roof.

In those moments we look at every inch of skin, we check for holes and check existing holes.  We invade your body with needles, airway devices, caterers, tubes, hands and fingers.  We are causing you pain to end your pain and save your life.  We do this out of love for our vocation-- because it is not just a job we show up for-- it is our passion.  We like to fix things.  We are fixers. 

Somedays when they come by air the fix is easier than we thought, but the pain for the body is brutal. The emotional pain can be worse.  One lands on our roof and another- perhaps a soulmate lands on another roof hours away.  Together they became powerless, they were impacted, they became patients, but they are separated and suffering physical pain and a deep hurt not knowing if the other is still breathing or alive.  I can give you drugs to lessen the pain from your trauma, but I can do little to mend your heart.  

I rarely think about the other, because I am so focused on you and fixing you.... but then hours later on the news or in the paper or via a call you learn about the others.  I hope for the best, but know that if you landed on our roof the badness was real and the stark reality of life comes like a speeding bullet.  My patient survives, but there are others who do not.  Maybe one or maybe a couple perish.  It is sad and I selfishly hope that my patients soulmate lives on and makes a recovery, because I have seen the news and it was bad!