One afternoon a woman dressed in scrubs came into the ER. I looked at her triage and her complaint was "UTI". I asked her for a urine sample which she quickly gave me. As I ran the usual urine pregnancy test and a urine dip, I noticed the pungent smell of garlic.
I finished the test and returned to the exam room. I began asking her questions about her history and her current symptoms. When I asked he why she thought she had a UTI she told me that she "gets them all the time." I asked her when she last had a UTI and if she was prescribed an antibiotic.
She looked at me and told me, "I'm a nursing assistant and I treat myself". "Okay", I responded. "What do you normally take"
"I usually do herbs and stuff", she said, "but I don't think it worked this time."
I asked her why she thought the problem was and what she was taking, she responded, "garlic".
She then went on to tell me that she had inserted a few pieces of garlic into her "vajayjay to cure her UTI, but it disappeared". "Do you think it went up into my stomach," she asked.
"No mam, it's unlikely that would happen, your vagina is not connected to your stomach".
"Well what the hell do you think happened to the garlic then?", she asked. "Is it in my uterus?"
Just then a resident walked in to do a pelvic exam.
After the exam, the resident looks at me and says, "I'm never eating garlic ever again".
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