There is a flurry of activity in the ER bay. There are medics, police, residents, doctors and some fellow nurses. I see the glistening man in the stretcher, a paramedic says, "he needs a line, I lost it". I weave my way past the residents, my IV set in hand. The man's eyes are darting from side to side. I tell the patient my name, he seems unimpressed. I see a nice sized vein in my sights. I lightly grasp his arm to position it, but my hands slides off.
"Guys", I say to the medics, "why is he so slippery?" I'm not talking about a little slide, I'm talking about a slimy slide.
The medic looks at me and says, "Vasoline, it's Vasoline."
"Why?", I ask.
That's when the medics and police start giving us the play by play. Apparently the person's neighbors called to police for complaints of loud noises. When EMS responded to the home they opened the door and found the patient naked, covered in Vasoline and apparently preforming on a webcam with various toys.
When they checked him out they saw he had a pulse in the 160s, and was probably on bath salts.
Gotto love the bath salts!
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